My name is Amber and I am 45 years old. It is the year 2020 and I have lived a lot of life as so many have by this age. I can’t help but think that most people who know me might look at my life from one perspective and have a bit of remorse for me.
My life early on was as many experience, I went to school, thought it would be good to go for my degree and found the love of my life in my last year of college. We got married in 2004. I worked in aviation for 13 years. I also found a passion for a Christian-based jewelry company that was a special part of my life for 13 years as well.
My plan was to eventually work my Premier Designs business exclusively and then it would enable me to be a stay-at-home mom when my husband and I decided to start our family. We made the decision to start trying for a baby. Days turned into weeks, weeks turn into months and months turned into years. We tried everything that we could within our budget but it just never worked out for us. It was painful to live a life of empty arms, seeing the beautiful miracles of children all around us but never to experience such a big part of life.
Fast forward 7 years to 2012. There was nothing I loved to do more than go camping at Lake Glendoe. Put me on Sandy Beach or submerge me in the cool waters and you have one happy camper, pun intended. It was June 9th, we’d spent the day in the sun with friends and their families. It was towards the end of the day and we decided to head back on our jet ski to our friends cabin we were staying at. I have no recollection of what happened next but my husband and I were hit from behind by a boat going full speed.
My husband suffered six broken ribs when he was slammed into the handlebars of the jet ski. Apparently I was thrown off of it landing several feet away. I was taken by boat to the marina by the people who hit us. Since we were a ways from any big towns, it took a while for flight for life to arrive from Casper. I had a couple of strokes which would lead to brain trauma and blindness in various areas of my sight. I had 16 broken ribs, one which lacerated my liver. Both of my lungs collapsed, my left femur was shattered and I had a complete break of my spine at the T6 level leaving me paralyzed from the chest down.
I spent five months in two different hospitals. The brain trauma was so bad early on that my husband would have to come over in the middle of the night when I would wake up and not know anything about myself or where I was. He would tell me what had happened, who he was and remind me where I was. Although I have few memories of the realities I went through during those early months, I can remember the hallucinations as if completely alert and in the right mind. They were beyond horrific to experience as though very real.
I had a tracheotomy so I couldn’t speak and my vision prevented me from communicating even by writing. It was so frustrating for everyone. One of the first things that I lipped to my family was Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. When Jesus says he will sear his word on our hearts, believe it!
Through God’s abundant grace, I look back and see His sovereignty throughout my life. Yes, I have experienced deep pains and trials and although I wouldn’t wish them on anyone, these trials have led to my beautiful relationship with Jesus Christ. When my husband and I were in our accident, I had already given my life to Christ. The problem was, I was trying to build my relationship with him while also keeping one foot in the world, wanting to continue to party and live as I had been for so many years.
I remember sharing with a friend who visited me at Craig Hospital that I had asked God that if I was not on the right path, that he do whatever he needed to get me on the right path. She said that she referred to that as a “dangerous prayer.” Although that may have been true, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I know one day I will be dancing before Almighty God. He answered my prayer and gave me a new heart, a repentant heart and I have turned from my old ways and desire to fully walk (roll) in the ways and will of the Lord. I want people to experience the beautiful Joy and peace that surpasses all understanding as they rest in his presence and trust in his faithfulness. I desire every day for him to receive glory until which time he brings me home. He paid a painful price with his precious blood to save us from our sinful nature. I can only hope my life be a reflection of love as we focus to live out these tumultuous days as Jesus did in his. If you haven’t already done so, I pray you give your life to Jesus, repent of your sins and trust in him and in all ways!!!
I may be blind, but God has made me to see! I may be physically broken, but He has healed my brokeness of heart and mind. I may be paralyzed but not by fear or shame! I may be bound to a chair but I am no longer bound to addiction and pride! Praise Jesus, I say it again, Praise Jesus!